The Lumpy Gladiator Versus The Ninja of the Leaf
by AlanthePaladin
Summary: Eddy has a proposition for The leaf, Ninja versus "Ed Gladiator King of The Ninjas" can the ninjas of the leaf fend of the might of a Lump or will Ed be turned into mashed potato's with gravy? Lets find out.
1. Chapter 1

Now then you may be thinking to yourself:

"How in the world could a simpleton like Ed take on highly trained professional killers like the Ninja of the Naruto world?"

My answer is a two fold point: He's about as strong as Tsunade without Chakra and honestly Eds a Natural conduit for the forces of nature go on youtube and search Ed, Edd n, Eddy Zappity Zap Zap to see what I mean. Now that my thoughts have been straightened out onto the Story.

"Kid, Do you know who you're talking to?" Tsunade asked stupefied by the offer being made to her, as Shizune stood wide-eyed to her side.

A short boy in a yellow shirt and blue pants named Eddy stood before her. Flanking him on both sides were his two "Business partners" an average but weak looking boy in a red shirt wearing a large sock on his head, Edd. And a tall filthy boy in a green coat with a red and white stripped shirt and a unibrow, Ed.

Eddy had managed to weasel a slot into her Busy schedule to offer her a Challenge to assist in the training of the towns ninja. Them Against Ed in a one at a time tourney to test their strength.

"Yeah I know who I'm talking to, I'm talking to the "Esteemed Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaf": Tsunade Senju." He said sarcastically.

"Look Brat I don't know who you think you are but you just don't walk into the Office of one of the most powerful people in the world and challenge one of the most highly trained ninja villages to a fight where your fighter is a walking potato and expect to be taken seriously!" Tsunade said angrily, already losing her temper with Eddy's behavior.

"I happen to be the only 15 year old in the world to earn enough money to hire your whole village as my personal guard if I wanted to. So do we have a deal or not Lady?"

"Oh that's a new one, either way one of my Hyuga Guards told me all of you barely have any chakra at all, so how is he supposed to fight Ninja?"

"Oh that's easy he's the strongest lump in the world and that's no exaggeration. Ed there can easily list any building in this town with one hand, including your office here. All he has to do is catch up to em and their goners."

Tsunade sized the kid up again, but still didn't find anything particularly special about him, except his smell which she could smell even when he was absentmindedly hanging his head out a window on the far side of the room.

"You know what kid I am going to give you a break my guards are going to escort you nicely out of the building. I wont see you until you prove you got some of that money you spoke about earlier and that your "champion" is as strong as you say." Tsunade said calming herself as best she could before Eddy spoke again.

"ED! GET OVER HERE!" Eddy yelled at his Partner

Ed trotted over quickly with the posture of a noodle before answering.

"I was just looken at the birdies eddy."

"I hate birds… anyway show Miss tightwad here my wallet."

"Sure thing Eddy." And thus to Tsunade's amazement the boy pulled a large treasure chest out of his pocket of all things and set it down with a loud thud in the center of the room.

Eddy sauntered over to the chest before opening the combination lock on it and opening it. "Read em and weep lady there's my pocket change. And proof that there's more to lumpy there then meets yer eye so we got a deal or do you want to make thing's a bit more exciting?"

Tsunade intrigued by Eddy's chest apparently full of gold coins sat forward in her seat at that.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well I heard through the rumor mill that you got a soft spot for little wagers. So what do you think instead of you just paying me to fight the Lump we place wagers on who wins each match winner take all. I will pay for all the damages to the fighting field so even if I win matches its possible that you still come out on top. So we got a deal?"

Shizune finally decided to speak. "Ma'am I would recommend against taking his bet he has the look of a trickster and a con artist about him. How do we know he will keep his word?"

"She has a point, what proof do I have that you will not simply leave your partner when he loses and run without paying?" Tsunade asked.

Edd spoke up finally. "Miss Senju if I may? That is easily solved. Just assign a ninja to watch us; we will even treat it as a mission and pay the ninja, up front of course. Plus whether you take Eddy's wager or not I have a contract written up to lay down the rules both sides must abide by."

So he planned this from the beginning did he? Tsunade thought before answering.

"Very well Mr. Eddy I will take your offer and your bet. Shizune will read through the contract written by your partner before we continue to the actual events however we will take a week to think this out and to prepare if we find nothing wrong. It's been a pleasure." Tsunade said before offering her hand in a handshake.

"The feelings mutual I will see you then." Eddy agreed before shaking Tsunades hand. The Three of them then leave after exchanging the contract and information about where the boys are staying in the village.

Later with the Eds at their Hotel…

"YES! She fell for it hook line and stinker. They weren't kidding when those guys said she as the Ultimate pigeon, once she saw my loot she was a complete sucker!" Eddy exclaimed happily to his fellows.

"Yes Eddy but you forget, Ed still has to FIGHT them before you receive your money Eddy, admittedly Eds strong enough but before he fought thugs in this scam Eddy but these are professionals Eddy and I fear for Ed's safety."

Eddy shrugged Edd off and turned to Ed. "Ready to have some more fun Ed, There's more for "Ed, Gladiator King of the Ninjas" to fight."

"I'm ready Eddy this is gonna be a Hoot!"

Okay that's good for Chapter 1. Does Tsunade Know what she's gotten into and at the same time does the Eds. Who knows, I make this up as I go. See anyone that reads this next time.


	2. Chapter 2

By the way this Takes place in Shippuden before Pains attack on the village.

A week late the Ed's are summoned to the Chunin exams arena.

As they arrive they get a good look around and notice the lack of people in the stands.

"Hey what gives? Here I am providing the battle of the century and no one shows." Eddy complains.

"Maybe we are earlier then they expected Eddy, have patience." Edd answered trying to calm his easily angered friend.

Eddy grunted in response before making for the Kage Booth where Shizune was waiting.

"Good afternoon Mr. Eddy Tsunade has sent me to watch the First round of the tourney." Shizune said as they approached.

"Okay so where's the old lady's bet and the crowd, this is supposed to be a public match right?" Eddy replied.

"The first round is simply to see if Mr. Ed can hold his own in combat and if he wins we will advertize the future rounds. And the agreed upon bet will be exchanged after the match as per Mr. Edd's contract."

"Yeah yeah, fine. Ed get down there and get ready to fight!" Eddy yells to his absentminded champion.

"I Ed The Gladiator King of the Ninjas Shall Enter the Arena!" Ed yells gleefully before running down the stairs from the booth, although he only makes it about halfway before he trips and falls face first sliding down the stairs until he smashes head first into the divider at the bottom, breaking through it and flying into the arenas ground.

"Oh Dear! Will he be alright?" Shizune asks concerned for the idiot's health.

"Nah he's fine, does it all the time." Eddy replies in dismissal.

"So Miss Shizune where is your first fighter for the tourney?" Edd asks.

"Ah yes he will be along shortly, His Name is Kiba Inuzuku."

"Hmm I believe I have read about the Inuzuku clan, they fight with canine companions correct?" Edd responded.

"What, you mean it's a two on one match for the first match? Why that dirty double crossing… Ed You better win this!"

Ed stood up in the center of the arena before rummaging through his coat and pulling out a spatula holding it high and declaring loudly. "I shall us my Flipper of Deflection (as seen in issue 29 of "Deadly kitchenware") to obtain victory today Eddy!"

"Seriously you called me here to fight a idiot with a spatula?" Kiba announced as he entered the arena."

"Ah there he is. Kiba, Tsunade asks that regardless of appearances that you take this match seriously!" Shizune calls from the stands.

Kiba flanked by Akamaru scowled at Ed as he walked up to him.

"Aww a big doggy, Eddy can I pet the doggy?"

"No you lump when I tell you, you got to fight em got it?"

"Gotcha Eddy."

"The first match of the practice Tourney shall now begin… FIGHT!" Shizune called from the stands.

Kiba made the first move charging Ed head on.

Ed simply sat there until Kiba got close and then lashed out suddenly, His spatula whistling as it was swung at Kiba in an attempt to strike him. Kiba crouched to dodge it and turned his momentum into a tackle to Ed's middle.

But Ed didn't budge a bit from the force of the attack and grabbed Kiba by the scruff of his shirt before tossing him back towards Akamaru who caught his master mid air to negate and damage the fall might have done.

Suddenly Ed charged Spatula held high like a sword; he jumped and swung down with full force at Kibas location. Kiba easily dodged this but the force of the impact left a Spatula shaped indent in the ground.

"Okay Akamaru Lets get serious! Beast Mimicry!"

With that Kiba Got down on four legs and Akamaru turned into a Kiba clone. Then they both charged Ed.

Much to their un-doing, when they get close to Ed they finally noticed his stench. Coming to a screeching halt near him Kiba attempted to back away on reflex. "It's just like my fight with Naruto." Kiba thought as he backed away.

Then Ed struck, he swung his spatula hard and belted Akamaru up side the face sending the poor pooch flying into the nearby wall of the arena, where with a resounding crash he cratered into it and stayed there stuck in the wall.

"The Flipper of Reflection strikes again!" Ed Roared triumphantly as he turned to Kiba.

Kiba disengaging his beast mimicry bounced out of range of Ed's mighty Flipper before reaching for his tool pouch. With an angry yell he threw a trio of Kunai at Ed.

Ed's eyes widened before he held his spatula up with one hand and brought his other end up to the flat part of the spatula.

"Flipper of Reflection uses reflect!" and with that he brings the spatula's head back with one finger and lets go flicking the Kunai back at Kiba with more force then they were thrown with. All three missed Kiba but they did completely implant themselves in the wall behind him.

Kiba lands on his feet and backs off from Ed.

And then Ed runs for the cover of the trees or so Kiba thinks. Ed grabs the trunk of one of the trees growing in the arena with his spare hand and pulls.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Kiba exclaims as he watches Ed pull the entire tree out of the ground with one hand and turn back towards Kiba.

And then Ed launches the tree at Kiba smashing him into the wall and knocking him out.

Up in the booth Eddy is cheering his/Ed's victory.

"Ha take that "Professional killer" malarkey, that guy never stood a chance, I expect a crowd next time we are here and I want my winnings by the end of the day." Eddy gloats as he swaggers out of the booth heading back to his hotel room.

Shizune still recovering from the shock of the battles end just numbly nods before gathering her wits and heading down to the arena to Asses the damage to both the arena and the combatants.

Edd simply shakes his head at Eddy's arrogance before following Shizune down to check on Ed's well being.

Later at the Hokages manor…

"What do you mean the Brat won!"? Tsunade yells angrily.

"Well Ma'am It appears that the boy is as strong as they boasted he was. He finished Kiba off by plucking a tree from the ground with one hand and throwing it at him."

Tsunade scowled before turning around and looking out the window.

"You saw him fight, who do you think we should pit against him next Shizune?"

And that should be a good place to end this. As Ed's Strength of body and body odor plows Kiba and Akamaru under the question is who shall he face next.


End file.
